A few words about your dreams
From the journal 8/16/2018:
I am in what appears to be a library. It reminds me of the nearby Pleasant Valley Library here in New York. I first visited this library (while awake) 2-3 weeks ago.
There is an older woman in front of me and to the left. Near her is either a bookshelf loaded with books or a library cart loaded with books. I think it was the latter. As I look at her, I begin to realize that there is something special about her. The “specialness” reminds me of my dreams. I realize that I am asleep and that the woman is in my dream.
I am worried that I will wake up if I get too excited or make any sudden movements. I also don’t want to say anything for fear the effort will cause me to wake. This is not an issue because the woman and others like her in the room can easily tell what I am thinking.
“Ah you see me do you?” She says.
“He wants our advice” says another woman, stepping in front of the first. The two women have a similar appearance. Not like sisters, but similar height, builds, age, etc. I thought they were the same person at first, but then am able to distinguish them. I try not to move as they briefly discuss me. Behind them and to the left is a tall dark-skinned man. He isn’t clearly African American or Hispanic, but his skin is dark. He is dressed in high quality athletic warm up gear. The clothes are predominantly grey. He appears to be between 25-30 years old. The two women appear to be in their late forties.
“Why do you want our advice if you don’t act on it?”
“You listen, but you don’t do.”
“You are so young. You think (or are) hundreds of thousands of years old from all those incarnations.” From this they implied that I should know better by now or that it is about time that I knew better.
The dark man speaks up. “He should be taking notes. Writing this down.”
When he says that, I agree mentally, but know I cannot until I wake. I don’t want to wake yet, so I make an effort to listen and remember. To look at him, I allowed my focus to drift over to him rather than turning suddenly. I can feel the effort I am making to remain within the dream instead of waking up. My impression is that the moment I lose focus, I will either wake or leave this dream.
A tall slender black woman walks in from the back of the room. I slowly shift my attention to her. “Do you really want us to tell you how to live? Really?” She asks. “Okay. It might as well be me then. I’ll tell you from my perspective what I see, but any decisions are up to you.”
As she talks, the black woman strides past the other three and then seats herself at a desk. As she does so, I see some kind of hardship and experience in her background. She doesn’t look older than the others but seems to have authority in this situation. Either that or the others are simply content to let her take the lead.
“You think about these issues related to political liberalism or conservatism.” She says this as though they are irrelevant to what really matters. “If you want to live this [Censored] life you seem to be following, then you will see more success (or be more successful) than you are capable of imagining right now. You will have money and other things.” She then starts to say something else. It is the name of a man and the name of a gym. As I try to listen carefully to these names and remember them, I wake.
Comment:
My distinct impression after waking from this was dream was that I would be successful if I continued on the path I was already on. More explicitly, it had to do with political affiliation. If I remained affiliated with the same group that I would do well. At the time, I had no idea what this meant or how it could apply to my career. I had just resigned my university teaching position and invested in setting up a studio as a commercial photographer.
I had this dream about three weeks after returning to the United States and a couple weeks before my things arrived from overseas. I hadn’t yet had a chance to do the first thing required to set up my studio. My studio was my focus, not politics, which I did my best to ignore. For example, at the time of this dream, I had voted exactly twice in my life despite attaining voting age in 1983.
I got my first couple of photography assignments early in 2020 but covid killed all potential business. Studios were closed and clients and crew became inaccessible. Now, two years into “flattening the curve”, it seems impossible to avoid political subjects. Strangely, In 2020 I was speaking with someone I hoped would help me set up some photo shoots with his connections when he offered me a job as a writer. “You seem articulate” was his explanation for the offer, since I have never tried to work as a writer.
With nothing else on the horizon, I accepted. A little later, someone else called me out of the blue and asked me to write a column. Again, I had made no effort to do those jobs. Until I started, I wasn’t even sure I could do them.
Looking back at the library setting in this dream, I wonder if I was meant to be a writer? It feels strange, since I have made no effort to make a career out of writing but have made serious and successful efforts to pursue careers in the visual arts.
Below is another dream wherein I am told something interesting.
From the journal, 12/9/2018
While out there, he tells me that people who dream a lot, or dream the kind of dreams I have, do so because of a kind of virtue they have developed. The consequence is that many things are less harsh for them than for someone else. I presume he means that if someone hadn’t developed the virtue he is talking about, any lessons would seem harsher or would actually be more harsh. I’m not sure if I understood this properly, but it’s what I was thinking in the dream.